As we reflect on “childhood”, experiences like playing with friends, getting 100% on a spelling test, and walking across the stage for high school graduation illustrate shared memories that have become synonymous with what it means to be a kid.  Unfortunately, too many people share the experience of being bullied as a child, but we don’t have to accept that because of its frequency, it must be considered merely a part of "growing up".

Bullying is the type of experience that resonates for years after its initial occurrence. The words and deeds continue to cause both physical and emotional pain long after any physical marks may have healed.  Often children are advised to “ignore” or “walk away” from the perpetrator, but that passive approach can leave the victim with feelings of helplessness; rather than the strength of empowerment.  How can children build a sense of internal strength that can support them during experiences of challenge?

Resiliency can be the “internal strength” needed to overcome stress and anxiety.  By definition, resiliency is defined as the ability to recover readily from adversity.  Teaching children “how” to develop that resiliency could be the tool that could make all of the difference.  Here are some strategies that can foster a sense of resilency:

1. Help kids to feel “connected” to both classmates and adults in their daily lives, so they have known resources across environments, when help may needed.

2. Benefit from the structure of a daily routine to ensure a sense of predictability, which helps kids to feel "safe" in their lives.

3. As a preventive resource against becoming overwhelmed, help kids to enjoy a “break” from the worries of day-to-day life.

4. Teach self-care skills as a means for kids to learn how they can protect themselves against the challenges of their daily experiences.

5. Build a positive self image, as a great tool against actions of bullying.

We can stop bullying from becoming a shared experience by infusing resiliency into our kids’ internal skill sets.

The modern classroom is an incredibly diverse and dynamic place.  Traditional lesson design focuses on creating instructional presentations to a group of students, in one static way for everyone involved in the lesson.  The students have to shift and adjust to fit into the expectations of the presented lessons.  Asking the students to adjust their learning to fit the lesson is counterintuitive to the learning process.  Effective teachers put the students’ needs first and design their lessons to meet those needs.  This is the theory behind Universal Design for Learning or UDL.  In a field of acronyms, UDL is an opportunity for ALL student needs to be addressed.

UDL uses a flexible, step-by-step process, with defined learning objectives, that consider learner variability and is designed to address it within the context of classroom instruction.  Universal Design for Learning can be applied from kindergarten through twelfth grade without compromising the curricular objectives of the subject matter.

The UDL framework accommodates for ALL learners in three key ways:

• Engagement:  The “why” of learning

• Representation:  The “what” of learning

• Action and Expression:  The “how” of learning

By creating lessons that are designed for all learners, the teacher has opened the door for everyone to benefit from the instruction presented in that classroom.  

As children develop, they learn how to “live” inside their skin, but that development varies in each child.  Through each stage of growth, children emerge by overcoming angst, frustration, and uncertainty.  Managing their bodies against their emergent abilities can create a great deal of unrest within them and that can result in difficult behaviors.  By acknowledging that behavior is a form of communication, parents and teachers can address behavior by helping them to find a new way to express themselves.

Deciphering the meaning behind behavior can be accomplished by studying the circumstances around that behavior.  By employing some helpful strategies, a better understanding can be achieved:

1. Keep a journal: Document the ABC’s of behavior (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence).

2. Use breaks to reflect on behavior:  Taking a moment can help build understanding.

3. Motor activities can be used to release negative energy:  Exercise can be a great tool in managing behavior.

4. Calmness is the key:  As children learn to manage their behavior, it is helpful to remain calm in order to provide guidance.

5. Quiet can be louder than yelling:  Supporting children who demonstrate difficult behavior can create intensity for the adults who support them, but by employing a quiet approach, the child’s energy can be redirected effectively.

By taking the time to watch and listen to children’s behavior, supports can be developed to address any problematic behaviors with understanding. 

We live in a fast paced, constantly changing society with ever increasing demands on our time.  Voicemails, e-mails and text messages demand our immediate attention.  As everyone rushes just to keep up, our children are watching.  All of that “rushing” limits our abilities to use one of our most powerful tools, the “pause”.  What would happen if we took the time to think and reflect on our next course of action?  Pausing can provide that moment of reflection, but to use it to its most beneficial advantage, a thoughtful approach must be employed.

A pause is defined as a temporary stop or rest, especially in either speech or action.  That “pause” can lead to a practice known as “mindfulness”.  When used with purpose, that “pause” can give us an opportunity to connect both our outer selves and our inner selves in a manner that increases our awareness of who we are and how to proceed.  When we can recognize how our emotions interact with our physical bodies, then our thoughts can become more than “just thoughts”; those thoughts can guide us to a more connected way of taking action. By applying our understandings of ourselves, we can take that pause and use it effectively in our future actions.

Applying this type of reflective action is a process and kids benefit from some guidance to learn how to use the pause to its best advantage.  Try these strategies:

1. Keep it simple: Help kids to notice how their bodies feel

2. Create multisensory opportunities: Introduce sounds to build sense awareness

3. Introduce it as a routine: Choose a time of day to infuse a mindfulness routine

4. Make walking a mindful opportunity: Use a walk to build mindfulness skills

5. Emotional weather report: Using weather, as a metaphor, can help build emotional awareness

Teaching the power of the “pause” is a process, but when mastered, it can be applied for a lifetime.

All children benefit from at least one person in their lives that stands out as their “champion”.  As children and families embark on a new school year, it is critical to shift the conversation from weaknesses to strengths.    This idea seems very straightforward, but unfortunately, most teachers give far more attention to providing corrective comments, than they do to providing authentic praise.

Educating students is a highly complex, multi-faceted activity and guiding students toward academic and behavioral achievements must incorporate “correction”, but to foster student success it is equally important to provide students acknowledgement of positive performance as well.  Research has identified that in most public schools, those positive comments are given at a much lower percentage than those more familiar corrective comments.  In order to shift the attention from corrective to encouragement it has been suggested that the ratio of correction should be 1:4; therefore, for each correction, students should receive four “authentic” positive praise statements.  The key to this is the concept is “authentic” praise.

All people appreciate kind statements, but authentic praise is much more powerful.  The praise statement must incorporate specific language that identifies the positive behavior that merits the praise.  In the simplest of terms, tell kids what they’re doing “right”, even if that behavior is embedded in inappropriate behavior.  For example, if a student is calling out in the classroom, which would merit a corrective comment, the teacher could acknowledge the student’s interest in participating, but provide guidance on how to share their ideas in a more appropriate manner.

This strategy also applies to guidance at home.  Parents work so hard to support their children, but just as teachers correct their students, parents can also engage in more corrections than praise.  Kids are drawn to attention and on occasion, their attraction to that attention can result in negative behavior because corrective feedback may be more pronounced.  By decreasing the level of intensity provided for correction and increasing attention when kids demonstrate positive behavior, parents can shift their children’s attention, so that they seek out that larger positive praise.

Be the champion by encouraging positive performance through the power of authentic praise.

Thinking about a new school year can be an exciting time for kids, new friends, new teachers, and challenging new concepts to learn; yet, for many students, feelings of anxiety can over-shadow any of their positive anticipation.  If your child experienced negative peer interactions, academic difficulties, or emotional breakdowns at school, returning to that environment can trigger significant anxiety.

Acknowledging that the emotions felt by children are “real” can be a powerful first step in supporting children in the management of those powerful feelings.  It is important to separate emotions from the events, which may have triggered those emotions. 

Help your children by supporting their concerns by considering the following resources:

• Work with mental health professionals, if emotional concerns are demonstrated

• Keep communication open to allow your child to share their worries

• Parents help their children by managing their own anxiety about returning to school

• Teachers play a significant role in supporting student success, so work closely with the school team to prepare for a positive start to the school year

• Avoid anticipating failures in order to allow new starts to bring fresh perspectives

• Use past accomplishments to illustrate student strengths

• Guide children to see themselves as “capable” to meet new challenges

• Highlight new opportunities for future successes

A person’s state of mind and personal perspectives plays a large role in how he/she might interpret their worldview.  Parents, teachers, therapists, and support personnel can alleviate student worries by helping to shape how a new school year can provide a clean slate for new beginnings, which can lead to new accomplishments in the year ahead.

Having a child with special needs has an impact on the whole family.  Sisters and brothers of the child with special needs share in the support of their sibling and can wonder if they are as “important”.

Here are three steps you can take to help children handle the challenges that come with having a sibling with special needs.

1. Talk openly about the situation

It’s essential for parents to clearly explain what is going on to siblings and answer any questions they may have. “Some siblings may not fully understand what is happening with their brother or sister. They may feel guilty about it, that they somehow caused it. Or they may feel like they aren’t as important as their brother or sister because they don’t get as much attention.”

It’s important for parents to listen to concerns the other children may have, and reassure them that you love them.  Children will appreciate that you both acknowledge and validate their perspectives.  Parents don’t have to use formal jargon like ADHD or autism or OCD. But they need to describe the behavior that kids might find concerning, and make it clear that it isn’t willful.

2. Spread the support around

When you have a child with special needs who needs a great deal of support and encouragement, the other children may feel that their achievements are taken for granted, they not getting as much praise as the struggling child.

So it’s important to “spread the support around.” If you’re, say, really trying to reinforce one sibling’s behavior, instead of ignoring another sibling’s bid for attention, look for something very soon afterwards that’s positive about what that sibling is doing, and give him the same level of positive reinforcement.”

3.  Find time to give individualized attention to each child in the family

Whether it is setting aside quiet time into the bedtime routine and setting special dates for each child to chose an activity to share with a parent, by designating that time, all children feel their importance in the family.

As kids develop, their identity forms based on the experiences in childhood.  Validation, acknowledgement, and time can be valuable resources in the support of every child in the family. 

As families plan for summer fun and think ahead to the next school year, a common thread of consideration is behavior.  Whether at home or at school, if a child’s behavior interferes with his/her availability to learn, the impact of that behavior affects everything planned or hoped to accomplish. 

As parents, we strive to establish behavioral expectations that guide our children toward the achievement of productive lives.  As teachers, student behavior determines the climate and culture of the learning environment for ALL students.  As caring adults, when behavior is seen as something that must be managed or controlled, we’ve missed valuable insights in how our children are functioning.

To support learning and guide your child’s behavior, establish a proactive approach:

1. Praise whenever you can – children are hardwired to respond to attention, whether positive or negative; so by increasing opportunities for praise, children will be supported to seek out positive praise.

2. Work from a plan – Consider the intention of the activities and environments in which your child is placed, if it’s playful support age appropriate, recreational interactions, but if that environment requires a more “controlled” type of behavior, plan ahead to allow your child sufficient movement and energy expenditure before expecting calmer behavioral performance

3. Establish a positive identity – Create an internal identity for your child that fosters a belief in his/her success.  By stating the positive outcome that meets the behavioral expectation of the planned activity, the child knows the behavioral target and is affirmed that he/she can achieve it.

Behavior is communication.  Listen, identify, support, and respond in a manner that builds the skills to be successful and your child will work to meet that expectation.

All educational experiences build foundational knowledge setting the stage for the future, but when learning is planned, future goals can be realized because they have been “purposely” built.

These five tips can guide teachers and parents in how to prepare students for the future that lies ahead of them:

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1. Teach the skills that support collaboration

Being collaborative involves interpersonal skill development.  Today’s students require new skills in order to be ready to collaborate with others. Whatever they do, we can expect their work to include finding creative solutions to emerging challenges.

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2. Instruct students on the “process” of interpreting information

New information is being discovered at a rate faster than can be calculated. It is predicted that 50 percent of the facts students are memorizing today will no longer be accurate in the near future. Given the scope and quantity of information being developed, students need to know how to find accurate information, and how to use critical analysis for determining whether the found information meets the needs of their inquiry. These are the executive functions that will need to be developed both at home and school to be prepared for tomorrow.

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3. Help students to demonstrate tolerance

In order for collaboration to happen effectively, future leaders will be evaluated by their ability for communication with, openness to, and tolerance for unfamiliar cultures and ideas. To foster these critical skills, today's students will need open discussions and experiences that can help them learn about and feel comfortable communicating with people of other cultures.

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4. Help students learn through their strengths

Children are born with brains that want to learn. They're also born with different strengths -- and they grow best through those strengths. One size does not fit all in assessment and instruction. Look ahead on school district curriculum maps and help promote each student's interest in the topic before instruction begins. "Front-loading" students with content information sparks the natural curiosity in us all.

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5. Take learning beyond the classroom

New "learning" does not become permanent memory unless there is repeated stimulation of the new memory circuits in the brain pathways. Students need to use what they learn repeatedly and in different, personally meaningful ways for short-term memories to become permanent knowledge that can be retrieved and used in the future.  Bringing classroom instruction into everyday life enhances long-term application of what has been learned for a lifetime of future experiences.

Districts and schools everywhere use goals to guide school performance.  In order to be successful, those goals must be specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented, and time-bound.  Students can seize the power of goal driven learning for themselves by employing those powerful strategies to their own learning.

When composing goals to harness learning, consider the following components to write meaningful goals:

• State the intended goal using positive language (i.e. “I will…”)

• Include a way to measure the intended learning objective

• Specify a measurement schedule to monitor the goal’s progress

• If the goal is “large” break it into smaller, measurable parts

• Determine a completion date

Goal writing doesn’t ensure academic achievement, but the process will result in the “experience” of learning, thereby facilitating future academic success. Once students understand how they can guide their own learning, they’re can steward their own future.

While school years end, learning is an ongoing activity, so don’t allow the end of an academic year to deter the pursuit of meaningful educational progress.  Many times students and their parents are made to feel defeated by school staff with responses that reflect there is not sufficient time to pursue new interventions before the end of the school year.  Neither sound educational practice, nor school code requirements would support a dismissive approach to the need for student support services.

Begin by reviewing the educational data accumulated throughout the school year.  Report cards, progress updates, and student work samples are meaningful data sources to support any educational concerns that may be uncovered.  Parent teacher conferences and teacher communication can also reveal underlying performance issues.

Don’t hesitate to share your concerns with the school team.  The time of year should not play any role in seeking assistance to support student learning.  If student performance is a concern, an assessment can be requested at any time throughout the school year.  Student learning can be incremental, so if data reflects educational progress, continuing student interventions may be the appropriate course of action.  When goals have been achieved, an end of year reintegration back into the classroom provides time to assess whether sufficient progress has been made before the end of the school year.

Plan for the summer to ensure that learning is supported while away from school.  Seek assistance from teachers to develop summer learning opportunities that carry over the work completed throughout the school year.  Summer can also be an opportunity to prepare for the year ahead and preview concepts that will be introduced in the future.

Thinking about learning as a twelve month process helps kids to see their growth as an ongoing activity.

As the school year comes to an end, the IEP offers a service that can connect time away from school to ensure that student progress continues.

The definition of “extended school year” states that special education and related services can be provided to a student with an IEP, beyond the normal school year term. For some students, extended school year can provide assistance after holiday breaks, like winter or spring break; for others, extended school year or ESY can be a bridge over the summer between the end of one school year and the start of another in order to support student skill attainment.

School districts tend to provide ESY services that align with that district’s summer school program.  For many students, a summer-school-like service can provide sufficient support, but there is no such thing as a “one size fits all” when it relates to an individual education plan.

Many school districts operate from a misconception that ESY is only intended for students with severe disabilities, but that is an incorrect assumption.  A component of ESY is the consideration of “regression and recoupment”, which relates to the time period that a student’s skills might regress and the time period it would take to recoup or regain those same skills.  School teams should be gathering data throughout the year to measure a student’s regression and recoupment needs.  While data collection is critical, it is equally important to measure the necessity for continued services for a student’s educational progress to be achieved.

Make sure that ESY is given appropriate consideration at every IEP meeting.

Motivation is the fuel behind achievement.  Some children seem to have an intuitive ability to work toward achievement, but for others, encouragement is often necessary.  For parents, helping their children to feel supported must be measured against the development of new skills. Children’s motivation partly depends on their feeling that they matter to others. From infancy, that feeling helps them believe in themselves. Why would any child be motivated to take on a new challenge if she sees herself as a failure?

Motivation begins at birth. Parents start the process by loving their baby, holding her, cooing, singing and rocking, setting up rhythms of smiling, vocalizing and touching that make her feel cared-about.  If she gets no response to her first coos and babbles, a baby doesn’t see much point to trying to make an effort.

As your baby grows into a toddler, your job gets more complicated. You have to set boundaries to be sure that her environment is safe to explore as she learns the motor skills – cruising, scooting, crawling and walking – that give her a new independence. When she’s just begun to toddle, you set the limit – no climbing up the stairs unless you’re right there to help her practice.

Parents foster motivation in their children by balancing it against the establishment of limits.  Children will test those limits, but that experimentation builds understanding. Many parents worry that when they set limits they no longer unconditionally accept their child. Nothing could be further from the truth.  Setting limits is an act of love – it’s not always easy, and the positive outcome will make it worth the effort. Children need grown-ups who love them to clarify the rules and to protect them from hurting themselves. As a child becomes more independent, she finds new ways to resist your authority – temper tantrums in the second and third years, and often, at ages 3, 4 and 5, lying, cheating and stealing.  Boundaries help improve the child’s ability to achieve what she wants, as long as they are respectful and she understands the reason for them. Setting limits makes it clear that they are unconditionally accepted, which is the encouragement that will help them challenge themselves in the future.

For students who struggle in school, special education may be the resource that can make all the difference. The federal law known as IDEA, Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, has thirteen disability categories under which a student can be found “eligible”.  Understanding those terms can help parents understand whether special education may be an appropriate consideration for their children.

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 (1)(i) Autism means a developmental disability significantly affecting verbal and nonverbal communication social interaction, repetitive activities and stereotyped movements, resistance to environmental change or change in daily routines, and unusual responses to sensory experiences.

(2) Deaf-blindness means concomitant hearing and visual impairments (3) Deafness means a hearing impairment that is so severe that the child is impaired in processing linguistic information through hearing

(4)(i) Emotional Disability means a condition exhibiting one or more of the following characteristics over a long period of time and to a marked degree that adversely affects a child’s educational performance:

(A) An inability to learn that cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or health factors.

(B) An inability to build or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationships with peers and teachers.

(C) Inappropriate types of behavior or feelings under normal circumstances.

(D) A general pervasive mood of unhappiness or depression.

(E) A tendency to develop physical symptoms or fears associated with personal or school problems.

(5) Hearing impairment means impairment in hearing, whether permanent or fluctuating, that adversely affects a child’s educational performance but that is not included under the definition of deafness in this section.

(6) Intellectual disability** means significantly subaverage general intellectual functioning, existing concurrently with deficits in adaptive behavior and manifested during the developmental period, that adversely affects a child’s educational performance.

(7) Multiple disabilities means concomitant impairments (such as intellectual disability-blindness or intellectual disability-orthopedic impairment), the combination of which causes such severe educational needs that they cannot be accommodated in special education programs solely for one of the impairments. Multiple disabilities does not include deaf-blindness.

(8) Orthopedic impairment means a severe orthopedic impairment that adversely affects a child’s educational performance.

(9) Other health impairment means having limited strength, vitality, or alertness, including a heightened alertness to environmental stimuli, that results in limited alertness with respect to the educational environment, that—

(10) Specific learning disability—(i) General. Specific learning disability means a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or in using language, spoken or written, that may manifest itself in the imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or to do mathematical calculations, including conditions such as perceptual disabilities, brain injury, minimal brain dysfunction, dyslexia, and developmental aphasia.

(11) Speech or language impairment means a communication disorder, such as stuttering, impaired articulation, a language impairment, or a voice impairment, that adversely affects a child’s educational performance.

(12) Traumatic brain injury means an acquired injury to the brain caused by an external physical force, resulting in total or partial functional disability or psychosocial impairment, or both, that adversely affects a child’s educational performance.

(13) Visual impairment including blindness means impairment in vision that, even with correction, adversely affects a child’s educational performance. The term includes both partial sight and blindness.

What does it mean to become an adult?  It is a "lifelong" journey for all of us, but for individuals with disabilities, a transition plan is a required component of an IEP, delineating the skills necessary to be prepared for adulthood.  Transition planning provides students and their families a way to educationally establish a process to prepare for that journey into adulthood. The Individuals With Disabilities Education Act of 2004 mandates that the IEP accounts for individual student preferences, interests, strengths, and needs in order to achieve their post school aspirations.  For parents, it can be daunting to consider how to best support the futures of their children.  Having a well-written transition plan allows students and their families to establish a data-driven approach to future goal attainment.

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Legal requirements within IDEA 2004 provisions in §300.320(b) stipulate that a transition plan be in place no later than when that student turns 16, but some states require the initiation of a transition plan to begin earlier.  In the state of Illinois, transition plans must be in place by age 14 1/2.

Transition services must include:

1. Appropriate measurable postsecondary goals based upon age appropriate transition assessments related to training, education, employment, and, where appropriate, independent living skills; and

2. The transition services (including courses of study) needed to assist the student in reaching those goals.

Breaking the provisions of §300.320(b) into their component parts is a useful way to see what needs to be included, transition-wise, in the student’s IEP transition plan:

• Postsecondary goals must be appropriate and measurable

• Postsecondary goals must also be based on age-appropriate transition assessment(s)

• Transition assessments must consider training, education, employment, and independent living skills.

Therefore, transition services must include:

1. Courses of study

2. Transition services identified as necessary

3. Postsecondary goals

While valuable, understanding the required components is merely the structure of a plan; the content will provide the information that will ensure that a positive future can be achieved.  A proactive approach will provide the most valuable asset available to skill development, “TIME”. By starting the conversation early, students and families can be assured of a successful future.

Educating children is a process that begins at birth. As parents model, reinforce, and encourage their children, they are establishing a foundation for all future learning. As children begin school, teachers take over that role of instructor and that transition sets the stage for a partnership that will follow children until they accept their high school diploma.

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In any partnership, both sides must both give and receive a level of respect that acknowledges the expertise that each participant brings to the table. Parents tend come into school buildings with a reverence built from being former students; yet, school personnel tends to receive those parents as if they have continued to be their students, instead of the community members to be served by those school systems.

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When parents see their children struggling in school, they question themselves, they seek advice, and they worry about their children's future.  They bring knowledge of their children's life history in hopes that they're mistaken.  Unfortunately, many families are rebuffed and discounted for seeking assistance for their children.

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Feel empowered by the responsibility of your role as a parent.  While schools have the responsibility of providing educational services, they also have the responsibility of working with parents on behalf of their students.  Parents have rights and can assert those rights in disagreement when the school denies reasonable consideration in support of their children. Know your rights and trust your instincts.  Parents do not have to accept “No” for an answer when their children demonstrate a need for support.  Feel comfortable to assert your rights and seek support if the school is not responding appropriately to your concerns.

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As any good coach would tell you, knowing the desired outcome guides the game plan. This approach can be very helpful for parents and teachers as well when helping children to learn.  By starting with the goal in mind, the plan for learning can be charted by working backwards.  Each step forward is assured because the plan was designed with the goal in mind from the very beginning.  Applying backwards design involves the following steps:

1.   Identify the desired goal

2.   Establish the data necessary to achieve the goal

3.   Plan the activities that will guide instruction

4.   Determine the measurement process

5.   Execute the plan

Whether the plan ensures a “win” for the team on the first try or it requires a new approach, with the goal in mind an ultimate victory can be achieved.

Educators have research and data that helps to guide their professional recommendations, but parents have a quiet little “voice”.  That voice speaks to us to identify concerns, to confirm our intuition, and to protest when we know something is wrong. 

Our youngest daughter was identified at birth with multiple disabilities.  Physicians told us that she would never be able to dress herself, manage her self-care, or engage in typical childhood experiences, but our little voices knew that her internal strength could accomplish more.  We listened to that voice, found early intervention services, therapeutic resources, and sound educational supports to give her every opportunity to be successful.

Our belief in her internal strength and the assistance that we procured allowed her abilities to shine through.  Parents know their children and our little voices help to guide us in advocating for our children.  Don’t hesitate to hear and follow that "voice" to speak out for the needs of your children.

For parents and teachers, the focus of attending school is for learning important conceps that will prepare children for their future, but if you asked a student what they care most about at school, they will tell you that it is their "friends".  For many students forming those meaningful relationships is as hard as their academic studies.  While there are not specific subjects whose focus is on friendship development, if a student lacks the intuitive ability to build those relationships, their school experience is diminished.  In order to make relationships a priority, request that your school district prioritize the following:

1. Create opportunities for peer interactions

2. Build supports that foster connections among students

3. Encourage activities that facilitate student collaboration

4. Provide space for cooperative learning

5. Facilitate ways for students to teach and learn together

6. Extend student connections beyond the school day

7. Make a school community that values interactive learning throughout the day

Student achievement is measured in a variety of ways, but both parents and students rely heavily on grades to inform them on how things are going at school.  Grading is a "summative" measure that is determined at the end of a grading period, when it is often too late to affect changes to the student's performance.  In order to work more collaboratively with your students and their teachers, developing an ongoing communication process will allow parents the opportunity to intervene earlier in the process.

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Solicit teacher feedback on an ongoing basis with the following strategies:

• Set up a communication schedule to receive feedback on an ongoing basis

• Utilize a communication notebook that can be utilized by both parents and teachers to keep the lines of communication open throughout the year

• Share with your child's teacher the format of communication that works best for you.  By knowing the "best" way to share information, teachers will communicate with greater frequency

• If your child has a 504 Plan or IEP, the communication process can be formally written in their plans.  When included in their educational plans, the team is obligated to follow the established plan

• If appropriate, include your child in the communication process, when they are participating, their investment in the educational services is enhanced

• Don't be shy, it is important to tell the teacher what you need to partner with them and with that knowledge, more effective partnerships can be achieved.

Everyone leads busy lives, so how can parents and teachers stay in touch with each other? Communicating with your children's teachers goes well beyond parent/teacher conferences, consider these other communicative opportunities to stay connected:

• Most teachers maintain a website, find out when new information is posted

• As homework support, many teachers post explanatory videos on YouTube

• Share with your children's teachers the best way to stay in touch, whether phone calls, a communication notebook, or via e-mail, knowing how to stay connected will help maintain the lines of communication

• Find out if your children's school has an online grade book to monitor their academic progress

• Ask the teachers if they allow parent volunteers, helping out at school is a great way to stay connected

• Most important, talk about school with your kids, read all of the materials sent home by their school, and share your own school experiences with your kids.  Learning is a constant experience and keeping it at the forefront of your family's communication demonstrates its importance

Learning follows a developmental process and every child progresses at his or her own pace. All educational objectives follow a range of performance.  In order to determine if your child needs instructional support, ask your child's teacher to provide you with the following information:

• Performance scores on universal screenings

• Data on classroom-based assessments

• Behavioral information across educational settings

Request a parent/teacher conference to discuss your child's performance, as it compares with that of his/her classmates as well as same-aged students across the nation.  There are many ways to get additional support for your child before special education services need to be considered, but you should be as informed as the teachers in order to participate effectively on your child's behalf.

Parents have an instinctual advantage on the needs of their children.  While physicians, teachers, and therapists can all provide valuable insights, if you don’t feel like you’re being heard, or your child’s needs are being met, it’s very reasonable to seek out additional resources on behalf of your child.  

When your children are struggling in school, there are simple home supports that can make a meaningful difference:

• Teach kids that their “job” at school is to learn

• Distinguish studying from learning

• Prioritize student study time

• Provide an optimized learning space for homework

• Emphasize comprehension as an essential outcome of proficient reading

• Encourage kids to go “above and beyond”

• Make learning a four-season activity

• Set a good example

Feel empowered, as the experts regarding your children’s needs, to speak up when it is important to advocate on your children’s behalf. While the professionals may be experts in their fields, you are the most knowledgeable about what your children may need to be successful.

Being a parent is the largest most comprehensive job any person can ever hope to accomplish.  It is a 24/7; lifetime role that begins at birth and its end point is undefined. Children come into our lives as these "possibilities" yet to be determined.  Will she be a doctor, who will he marry, what college will she attend, who will their friends be, where will they live, and most important, can I give them everything that they need? As parents, we want to give our children "everything"; whether it's the toy that will make them smile or the best birthday party "ever", but with every attempt we question ourselves.  The job is overwhelming because it does not have any instructions, so we never know "how" we're doing.  With every question, parents are left not only without an answer, but rather, with more questions.  The harder parents strive, the more it becomes clear that more effort is necessary.

Parenting is an interactive, social endeavor.  We share it with our partners or spouses, we do it as an activity with our children, and the challenge is that we can never know if we’ve done enough or even more importantly, if we’ve done it “right”.  To be a parent is to commit to “trying”.  By exerting that effort, we can be assured we’re on the right track, but when we're bombarded with questions, it is not necessary to find the answers in isolation.  Often, parents feel hesitant to assert that they are unsure of how to support their children.  Whether we talk to our friends, our families, or our children’s teachers, it is in the conversations that we can begin to find some answers.  There are no simple answers that solve all of life’s many questions, but in the small “ideas”, parents can find some support.

Don’t wait until “Black Friday” this week to give yourself the first holiday gift.  Take comfort in knowing that it is in the conversation that answers can be found.  Give yourself permission to seek support and in recieving it, the answers you need will be easier to find.

With Thanksgiving approaching, thoughts extend to the affective qualities of being “grateful".  As we gather together and talk with our children about the feelings associated with thankfulness, parents and educators must consider whether their children comprehend the feelings associated with this holiday.

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In this complex society, it may not be reasonable to expect children to understand and demonstrate the behaviors associated with appreciation and gratitude.  Some children, especially children with disabilities, have learning profiles that may reflect difficulties with the abstract nature of social emotional development.  When teaching abstract concepts, many students benefit from experiential learning, which involves them in activities that can directly connect them to their learning.  Consider some of these activities in your holiday planning with your children:

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1. Create ways to express "thank-you":   When your young kids receive gifts, they should be expected to create and send a thank-you picture or short note within one day (or at the rate of one or two thank-you’s per day).

2. Be polite to Mr. Bear:   Engage in role-play activities using good manners and saying “thank you” using stuffed animals and action figures to build a contextual understanding for "how" to express thankfulness.

3. Pick your top 3:   At dinner or bedtime, take turns sharing the three best things about your day. 

4. Commit it to memory:   Find and memorize expressions of "thank-you" that can be applied across activities.

5. Make a "different" kind of gift list: Write down the things (preferably handmade) your preschoolers would like to give friends and family as holiday gifts.

Never underestimate the "power" of your knowledge as a parent.  No one knows your son or daughter in the way that you know him or her; most notably, your student's strengths and capacities for future accomplishments.  As an experienced educator, I remember doctors telling my husband and myself about "all of the things that our daughter would NEVER be able to do".  We chose to listen, but not to be defined by those limitations; rather, we chose to believe in the "possibilities" that every learning opportunity could provide to her and allow her to grow at her own pace with hopeful optimism.

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We worked with her school team and held them to high standards of accountability.  We communicated on an ongoing basis and encouraged them to do the same.  As parents, we wanted to know everything that they knew about her school programming and we wanted to be involved participants.  We had an advantage because of my professional background, but it shouldn't be necessary that every parent be an educator to know and understand his or her children's educational program.  ALL parents have the right to have a full understanding of their children's educational services.  Empower yourself by asking questions, expecting clear and meaningful answers, and ensure your child's progress by monitoring their rates of progress by reviewing their data.

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Accountability is the strongest insurance your children can receive to protect his or her educational future.  Inform your child's school team that you will be expecting ongoing progress updates and you'll use that information to effectively partner with them on behalf of your child's goal achievement.

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Keep the conversation meaningful and ongoing, your active participation with the school team will yield positive results for your children.

Tips For A Happy Holiday Season​

• Teach your child names of guests ahead of time: Show your child pictures of relatives and friends before the party starts. Remind children if they have met the guests before and explain their relationship.

• Create a schedule of events for the party: Show your child photos from last year to provide a visual reminder. Also, create a schedule that will show your child the planned order of events. He or she can even use this schedule to check events off the list after they end.

• Role-play scenarios: Practice how to receive a gift, how to thank the giver and how to greet guests at the door.

• Prepare relatives and guests for possibility of unusual behavior by your child: Take this precaution so guests do not misinterpret your child’s actions. You can even give an update on ways your child has improved since last year. Lastly, share topics and activities that the child would enjoy discussing with relatives and friends.

• Designate a “quiet place”: With the overstimulation of people and noise, you and your child should choose a safe and quiet place to escape to if overwhelmed.

• Give child a role: Help your child shine by asking him or her to assemble toys after a gift is opened, hand out gifts to each guest, cook something or photograph the event.

• Bring along an activity bag: Provide quiet activities, such as coloring books and crayons, puzzles and books, to make your child feel at ease while in a large group.

• Don’t forget your routine: In the midst of holiday season, make sure the normal routines remain the same. Routines are harder to re-establish after the holiday season has passed.

Knowing Your Rights

Whenever parents request the consideration of special education services, the school sends a meeting notice along with a Notice of Procedural Safeguards.  It is a multipage document that most people in receipt of it, "NEVER" read.  While the document is not an enjoyable read, the content is important and the school is required to clarify and offer explanations of the information contained within it.

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Be empowered by being informed about your rights under the law.  Within the document's 22 pages are the following headings:

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1. Prior Written Notice

2. Parental Consent

3. Absence of Parent Consent

4. Revocation of Consent

5. Parent Participation in Meetings

6. Evaluation Procedures

7. Private School Placement

8. Discipline of Students with Disabilities

9. Complaint Resolution

10. Mediation

11. Due Process Hearing

12. Education Surrogate Parents

13. Educational Records

14. Transfer of Parental Rights

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These headings contain content describing the legal requirements that must be followed. Understanding those requirements can help parents advocate for their students by holding the school accountable for adherence to the law.

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As we exercise our right to vote, Bridge Educational Advocacy encourages everyone to consider the impact of government on public education. The Education for All Handicapped Children Act (sometimes referred to using the acronyms EAHCA or EHA, or Public Law (PL) 94-142) was enacted by the United States Congress in 1975. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is a four-part (A-D) piece of American legislation that ensures students with a disability are provided with Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) that is tailored to their individual needs. In 1990, the United States Congress reauthorized EHA and changed the title to IDEA (Public Law No. 94-142). Our government effects our future everyday by its impact on our children's education. Vote for our children's future.

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Kids are "hard wired" to learn, but everyone learns at their own pace and has their own strengths and weaknesses.  As we put away the Halloween costumes and prepare for the holidays, parent/teacher conference season is upon us.  It is at these meetings that parents first learn about any struggles their children might be experiencing at school.  While this information is critically important and parents must be included in the subsequent decision making to support their children's progress, equally important is to discuss every student's strengths because it is through those strengths that progress can be achieved.  As families engage in these important conversations, begin with "People-First" language. Don't allow your child to be minimized by his or her educational weaknesses.  This is particularly true for students with disabilities.  Referring to students as "Autistic kids" defines those children by their disabilities and completely dismisses their many strengths and gifts.  Mandate that your child be defined as a "person" first.

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Make sure your children's teachers know their many skills, their interests, their hopes and their dreams.  A student who may be delayed in reading may also be a talented artist or a gifted athlete.  There are many ways to be intelligent and academics shouldn't be the only measure by which to define a student's abilities.  Request that all educators identify your child as a whole person and not merely by his or her deficiencies.  Help teachers to see your child as the unique and special individual that you know and from that perspective, more effective planning can begin.